tawangku

tawangku: The Mothers Struggle (english version)

When I feel restless, you are even able to cover her with love. "Do not plug the long face, to face the world. Smile and continue to always smile, keep your sad at heart if you can dispose of is, "said the mother.

   Always you face this world with a smile with a sad heart.

   Blessed is the woman who gives affection to their children. Yes, that's what you give. You entertain all of your children's father as well.

   When you're the mother of the minor, is an orphan and to the groom by the father to be his wife. Until the birth of a child that is me. When my father left for work, you asked me to pray with you, as well as nearly all returned in time that afternoon.

Sometimes you and I waited at railway crossings, and prayed. Long story short, you are a woman who sholehah. No one even know your pain. From preparing everything from snack foods to my rice. Also I was wearing my clothes every day. Especially also because of my naughtiness that will not do not.

   You always follow me, what toys, snacks as well as I begged, but I do not necessarily eat snacks that you buy, also toys that are not necessarily my play. I was naughty, but goodness me from all that I always tidy up all the toys into the sack and I snack stacks, which would eat because my father, I just want to buy and would not eat it.

   Its really no one knows all that you spend with what money. Just know dad eating and working. As if mothers do not want to say to anybody, he just smiles alone. Behind all that you always owe, even the debt accumulated.

   To cover your grief, you invite everybody to berdiba '. Ter fro hear your melodious voice. You always be a presenter on the go. Many who sit to you start, chanting, berdiba ', etc..

    And you give a little food to each child who will recite to you. All that you do not expect anything in return.

    I know your students are not children, but teenagers are growing up. I was so touched when someone adolescent drug use, you take berdiba 'with you. Her voice is her turn-turn do not know him. Up to make everyone laugh.

    Because of your courage, all the clever you, to your family's. You are highly regarded by all of all people is no exception.

    Now I grew up almost elementary schools. You gave me a younger brother, who was now my brother. Day after day has passed.

    More and more debt piling course, is because the father who sometimes work, sometimes nggk, if lonely job. Not that too, the higher the price of food.

   All you have set before it that complicated. Because I wanted to stay home east, family eventually moved.

Intermittent several years now I, have a younger more beautiful.

   The days had turned into months, not at home in the east nor west, again the mother owes money. Until I was a 3rd grade elementary school can not pay examination fees, and meals for the family is also difficult in advance plus debt.
Mother always did not want to unlawful, let alone heard the words of follow-up cheat gambling. Suddenly, on that day, and what happened, In the night through. It turns out the money to pay for my exams. What I am crying, did not know what happy cry because could take the exam schools, or cry me what my mother did.

   Prove after school exams, I got good grades. I praised the teachers, was announced to my mother. Apparently, the mother smiled teary. He thought, "Can I send my son to high," in his heart.
Until my brother and sister grew up to enter kindergarten, at that time, there is no allowance for the school's brothers.

    Mother talking to someone a friend, who was a teacher in kindergarten about the problem. Finally my sister's boy put his kindergarten, while looking for money, mother selling snack there. Also bring my sister to accompany women. Came the next grade. My sister would like school girls. Confused mother added to it. For me it was hard not to mention my sister. My sister was forced to lie to women, I was crying to see it.

    Because only given a few blank books and stationery, he is also a lesson but, with the state went along with it, does not mean school. Pity, if only it were me I probably would have cried unbearable.

    Mother thankful once, it turns out my sister girl, she used the students and the release of money for school by his teacher, he has not only become a disciple disciple. Exceeded their versatility.

    How happy his mother, younger siblings so my kindergarten students. Mothers did not struggle in vain, my two sisters representing the school. They make a speech, a small zero English and Indonesian is a big zero. On seeing the teachers and supervisors several clubs, and make their school's name famous, because it is the first time.
Mother delighted, especially neighbors who used to mock his school's that are not qualified, who are now suddenly famous.

   Mother did sell snacks at school kindergarten in because, my brothers school there. But when, my brothers went to school, mothers can not risk selling.

   Bu his mother was a teacher, still allow the selling. Mother was very happy little to help the family.

   But mothers still deal with me who live in boarding schools, even he was willing to bring my clothes in the wash to take home for her. How hard he was feeling. At that time in because I do not want to threaten the school if I in my cabin and on the right in Madrasah schools that do not stanawiyah country. All I want only school in Junior High School. But because no charges had I lived in huts and in Madrasah usual.

   Sometimes I feel to cry, when the mother came to the hut just take my clothes to the laundry at home. In fact my house with my boarding school far away. In fact my house with my boarding school far away.
Mother of a bike ride to the cabin, then go home to wash my clothes. Once clean, tomorrow it in between her back to the cabin's me. I kept thinking, if you keep doing this sorry for the mother;. While I'm welling tears.

"Fine I'll wash your own mom here, mothers do not have to take my clothes." I said to the mother. Mother answered "He what?". I replied, "not fine, I was used to independently", while I'm back, because I'm not able to resist tears.

   After I graduated from high school, I wanted to go to vocational school majoring in computer engineering. "In order for her later if you find a job easy", I thought. I'll be happy father's family, especially mothers, but mothers do not have the money to send me, especially my father frequently unemployed.

   Every day I keep intending to insist on the right school. Yes, but how else would not no cost. Eventually I own conscious.
Mother of daily trading at the kindergarten, the proceeds of selling, brought her shopping and spending money for his children, plus the money is usually the father, if father's work.

   Mother every night and was always praying tahajjud prayer. Especially pray for my people who are formerly deceased.

    When a mother prays rarely smiled. On his face is always flooded with tears. But when someone comes he always delete it.

   I know your grief is so heavy, but why anyone even your family, no one knows. Why are you always smiling, why are you always happy. If only sad, you always told me smiling in front of everyone.

    You always say hello to me, do not watch tv until the night, fast asleep, sometimes I'm angry, "first moment, never mind sleeping sleep-there".

   But you always remember my mother me to realize it.

Unemployed at once I was home about a neighbor's annual Whom. I'm at work, so pretty can to help.
Because I'm a salesman, I receive a salary which, yes, lucky-lucky's. When I can pay 500 thousand, 400 set aside for my mother and my 100 took their own lives.
   You're so happy, its money you spend it, the more is, to pay debts to people.
   You're very happy because now there is additional help. Mother also told me everything.

   At the time I pay 800 thousand, I cried because I spend my money one and only provide 500 thousand mothers. I Know allowance for the days you very much, and I always remember her crying.

   The following month I got it right a million more. I just take 200 thousand, the rest for mothers. I told the mother, "mom in the store so please at least, for the future." Mother replied, "yes rul."
The following month I have developed its decline, just be 600 thousand. I give 500 thousand and said, "mom his money the other day if it still exists," still rul, "mother answered. The months following his pay-me less, and my mother asked again. It was at the middle of the month so, I have not the same at all. I'm the mother, "I asked for money mom 300 thousand to make the ATM, to save money." In thought, "but really its ATM business on the internet so that if successful could be happy my family, especially my dear mother.
His Mother replied, "do not have money rul, ''is up for daily needs, especially debt. Actually that time, I understand, its a little bit and had glass in my eyes.

   But because my desire was made, finally did I persisted. Mother is rather sad, I threatened to lazy to work, and suicide. Yes, I was talking so loudly that the sister in law mother, "please buy soda and migraine headaches." he replied, "weird," she said with her screaming.

   Eventually I bought it myself but, sister-in-law's mother knew, and the mother also knew. Catch me in the mother, "do not have weird, like you're dead, ya just your mother." I answered, "no, I mean its soda for tomorrow, her headache medicine for now." As I shut myself in my room.

   The night his mother says if I do, will they give you money the day after tomorrow. I was so glad when it's off to work. Day on the set had arrived, I was given money by the mother of 300 thousand.

   I asked mothers, "why have his money, from which the mom, " Mother only answer. "Does not matter if you do not quickly brought me take it anymore, " he joked.

Behind his smile is the sadness, the mother who gave money 300 thousand, owed the bank, which every day must repay it back. But at that time I do not know. Really I am very innocent.

   Mother of merchandise using pocket money to give. When I ask for it for internet or playstation. Sometimes Mother also bought a little snack or not to market. Because of my to ask for money.

   When my mother demanded money. he said. "rul is for merchandise". I always answer that. "easily later I will succeed to please thee mother.

   Always repeatedly day and time, I say that to him.

   Mother did look healthy, fit, and spirit every day of his job washing the family clothes, even a jug belongs to someone else. That is laundry workers. Also what is told to tell people, mothers want to do, so the maid as well.

   I got to wonder how come so strong, some jobs in its path, to wash clothes at night, day. And in the morning woke up at 3 in the rice, praying, morning prayers, went to the market, go to school kindergarten for selling snacks. Until the laundry after coming home from selling.

   All his work is done. It turned out that behind all that, Mother's taking drugs, herbs.

   Until one day he fell ill, and just sleep. But he was still doing homework, do not forget he was praying.
He was a doctor, given medication, until one day he asked a neighbor who could be called shaman.

They say it's shaman, no genie in the mother's throat. And the jinn took a long time, after the genie told her mother saw released, but the mother did not want.

   I always encourage him to recover quickly. But he was still sick, he was even sicker. Perhaps the pain caused by melting it with all he was doing during this, and also medicines made of herbs that's also her heart. Moreover he is a weak heart. According to the health of people suffering from weak heart, not a lot of work, also taking drugs.

   Mother's body so pale, he was just lying in bed. Every morning I kissed his hand and cheek, "mom I left to go," mother always answered, "yes rul hopefully later sold his goods.

   Add a day of mother looks more pale. Mother affected by gastritis, especially exposed to canker sores tongue. Mother also rarely eat, the time before the pain as well.
Actually the mother has the burden of thought. Sometimes a quarrel with his father, mother better not eat. As a result affected by gastritis, mothers always give priority to family rather than himself, especially preferred is me.

   Chronic gastritis mother, he was exposed to typhoid so, fatigue,. And loads of mind.

   Eventually the mother was taken to the nearest health center. To be hospitalized. Last one prior to the clinic told the mother that, neighbors who are still young mothers die.

   I say, "do not worry about it mom, which is important mother healed".

   Mother had wanted to contact the TV, because at that time there was a cleric told himself on TV. To seek help, but in vain I feel stupid for not helping at all.

   Once at the clinic, the mother went to lots of people, every night my brothers, me, dad, sometimes there is also a neighbor turns case. If lunch is usually a father.

On the maternal health clinic worse, he even can not walk alone.

   Mother was given money, bread, eating the light. But the mother did not eat it, which would eat the wait, if he gave to the doctor or clinic gatekeepers there.

   More and more mothers look bad, I wanted to take him to hospital, but had no cost, the mother was thinking. In fact, dad did not want to look for help to his brothers, when I tell over and over again.

   After several days, the mother talking to me, "rul tomorrow Saturday I'm going to the hospital."

   In my heart I'm grateful "thank God" the day the next day I pay 400 thousand, 300 thousand mothers give.

   "Thank God I could just in case at the hospital later," said mother.

In the morning when I was working, the mother was transferred to the hospital, the first day I did not visit.

In the morning when leaving for work, I stopped by the hospital, I kissed his hand, and kissed her cheek.

   Mother embraced me with a smile, and a bit strong do not pull himself up.

   Mother's time in the hospital and health service use money that people give in shelf. But I do not understand how the health service, my mom was a critical in let it only by a physician. Just be treated with usual care.
I'm so sorry why did I not wait for him at the hospital, instead leaving for work.

   "I go first ya mom, hope a speedy recovery and quick return home." Words on the mother, the mother answered, "yes rul hopefully later behavior and ...,"

   "What is the mom, my ear is rather problematic, a bit harder, yes," I said. But the mother answered with a little teary eyes, "my voice was getting me softly rul."

     "Nothing's ears are somewhat problematic mom"

     "Not these rul that my voice was getting me softly, add up"

     "No, not a mom, this true ears that are problematic, because the sea water exposed to yesterday"

      My hand still clutching her mother's hand, while I stared at the mother that her eyes slightly glazed.
After greetings and kiss, hands and cheeks, I went to work.

      As always pray for my mother, "hopefully rul behavior," said the mother, with a voice softly.

   When I got home from work, I'm not into the hospital, even home. In the hospital waiting for my father only

   When that night I felt strangely, seemed to want to the hospital. Maybe because I'm a little daydreaming, I dropped a place for ablution (made of plastic) into the wells.

Jump heart racing, shocked "sign what?" in my heart.

   At night I usually watch TV till morning, that night I actually slept the night was still at 10.

   Time has been answered, my mother came home at 3 am, I awakened from my sleep by my mother's sister in law.

   He crawled to wake me with said softly, the patient rul yes, your mother was dead. "

   I hurried up from my sleep, and said "where MOTHER, where the mother" while I get out of the room, the arm, "who patiently yes rul" she said, weeping.
I was standing upright, the body went weak, my arms around the middle of the room the mother's body that has been frozen.

Instantly I pray he is, then my arms. I hope the mother can come back to life. I do not want the mother was taken away, I continued to hold her, until I finally realized, until I release it.

When I picked her up and assume the mother to wash him, I thought so, mother often said when he was sick, "rul why I always dreamed of carrying your baby." Mother says it's time.

Which turned out to dream it is the opposite, feels sad at heart and unbearable tears will fall.

MESSAGES

   * Follow and obey the words of a good mother for you.

   * Live the was your mother, do not you dare him to virtue.

   * Spare He is, you do not ever argue.

   * Your mother is a god on earth.

   * Make a good impression and a message for him, lest you regret it, until you no longer see it.

From me; May be useful for you all, if there is wrong or offensive to me as the writer apologized profusely.
And hopefully you always respect your mother amen,.,

tawangku

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